There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
