there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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