so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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