All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Say something about gay babies.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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