Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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