I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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