I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
