I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
