Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
