WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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