Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
