Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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