He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
