I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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