maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize