it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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