the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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