I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
