look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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