Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You're like the curious george of whores
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
