i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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