Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i black out too much to be "responsible"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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