not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
