i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
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