did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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