I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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