The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
