found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
