I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
