No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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