My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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