my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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