It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
