Duck Duck Cougar?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I want a musical about memes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize