Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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