I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
