it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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