Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize