i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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