So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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