we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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