Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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