he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
