I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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