i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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