ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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