Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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