Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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