Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
