Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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