I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
