we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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