So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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