It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
