the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My feet surprised me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
