you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
