Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
