I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
