We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize