whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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